If you're on the lookout for an alternative to your shitbag commercial dance crap that's clogging up both the analogue and digital spectrums you could worse than check out the Electronic Explorations podcast. It's put together by my virtual friend and TMB mod, Rob Booth. In his own words, it's a journey
"through electronic music's hottest property, a deviously crafted patchwork of carefully sewn rhythms, sonic contortions and delicate melodies.
Dubstep, minimal electronica, techno and advanced soundscapes. Producers who rarely see the light of day, too busy in their own homes, making some of the most arresting, forward thinking and intelligent music.
If you like your music experimental, uncompromising, hand crafted and eerie, mathematical and heavy on the bass then look no further than Electronic Explorations
If you're an admirer of records labels such as Planet Mu, DMZ, Tectonic, Hyperdub, Skull Disco, Tempa, M_Nus, Rephlex, Warp Records & Downwards to name but a few then you're in for a real treat."
Over the years I've amassed a fair amount of email addresses and with that comes a fair amount of spam. Normally, I'd let the spam filters pick these up and I don't really bother with them but of late some of the ones I've received have been a tad, shall we say, odd...
What to make of that title? A cool looking Arctic inhabiting mollusc with a shower related vampiric threat complex?
Holidays are here and its time to Shop
We carry all types of gifts for You and Your Loved ones
Come Visit us now
http://bhk.vxtr.secognostobi.com
Ahhhh, yes of course. Obvious really wasn't it? So I braved the link and visited the website. No Vampires. No Snails. No Hammers. Just shitty replica watches. Crazy. False advertising if anything.
Example No 2;
Sender : peony karhu
Subject : ekilydal
Even better. Do I click on this or do I google it to see just what that subject means? Then it clicks. It's ladylike backwards.... Sod it. Lets have a look anyway. It might be pr0n.
Make your dragon loooooong and hard as a rock
asdfasdf sexton
http://www.fewdiscuss.com/
Few discuss? Not fucking surprised. Most if not all people don't own dragons. They're not even real.
Now for my favourite....
Example No 3;
Sender : Maynard Maloney
Subject : if you like cumming on tits, now you can smother her in your sperm which will be boosted by up to 500%! thats heaps.
Wow. Pretty forward in these emails aren't they. Firstly, considering the majority of computer users are geeks they'll be pretty smart when it comes to general arithmetic so there's really no need to point out that 500% is heaps. That's obvious. Secondly, the average volume of semen produced at ejaculation is 2 to 5ml. Multiply that by 500%
gets you 25ml of semen. What woman wants nearly a 2 thirds of a can of Coke coming (no pun intended (well almost)) at her?
Delving further, according to the email "People judge your dick size by your shoes sizes. With Xtrasize+ you don't have to wear bigger shoes to make women think you have a huge dick." I must have missed that particular Sex Ed class at school. Not only that. If that was true, why don't supermodels date Clowns?
Hang on... Pete Doherty anyone?
Spam. The new comedy.
13-11-07 - (Shoalin) Balls To That
You can pretty much take it as a given that most men born in the 70s wanted to be some kind of martial arts expert as a young child. What with Monkey and Kung Fu on TV and Bruce Lee all over the cinemas, kids up and down the country could be found jump kicking their mates, siblings, family pets in the head with fake Chinese yelps. "Wapaaaah" (which probably translated to frogs cock or something). Some took it to the next level and enrolled (me being one of them) on karate lessons only to make it to erm white belt (me again) before packing it in. I chose to give it up the lessons at Wakefield Sports Centre as they were on a Sunday and I resented the fact that it encroached on my "own time". Busy life being a seven year old you see.
Judging by this video though, it looks like I got out at the right time.
